Dear Heavenly Father,

Dear Father, Please Heal my heart. It hurts to have a broken view of a father. It hurts to know what could have been. What joy I may have felt had he loved me more like You do. Please heal those painful wounds and salve my scars. Help me to have a fresh view of You as a heavenly Father. Abba. The God who adores His sons and daughters and does not expect perfection. In Jesus' name Amen.

Father Wounds. I looked at the pink book in front of me. I wanted to read it- I really did, but I knew it was going to talk about “Father Wounds” and I was tired of talking about the impact of a negligent or abusive father.

I was sick of story after story of hurt playing in my mind.

I was tired of mourning the loss.

I was scared those wounds would be a deep pit and remain with me for the rest of my life.

I was worried that no one could fix this “father wound”.

Maybe… Maybe just maybe…you’ve felt at least one of those ways too. If you have: here is where I am at with it. It hurts. Hurt hurts, as a friend of mine said to me today. It does. And it is ok to acknowledge that.

But there is hope.

I feel this sweet invitation from my Heavenly Father to allow Him to fill the giant hole in my heart that only a father could fill. AND the hole in my heart that only a Good Heavenly God could fill.

HE has invited me to dance with Him. To trust in Him. To talk with Him. To walk with Him through the messy journey of life.

He wants to hold me when I go through depression. He wants to pull me out when I sink in the waters. He wants to belly laugh as I tell Him what I thought was funny.

He protects me. He disciplines me, but not as a Father who is passive-aggressive. He is gentle. Kind. Just. Holy.

There is a unique love that comes only from God. And while yes, maybe these rightly so-called father wounds are there, they will heal. And even if they leave scars I have a Heavenly Father waiting to walk with me here on earth and then one day in heaven.

I’ve invited God to be my Father. It has been beyond beautiful. No amount of words can describe the feeling. Several of my poems share glimpses. But those moments when it feels like He is dancing with me. Speaking to me… wow. My heart.

That isn’t to say I haven’t experienced silence and that my wounds aren’t still raw. They are. But it is to say that the moments of experiencing God and asking Him to reveal Himself is SO worth it.

Dear Heavenly Father, I love this. Jesus had us pray to a Father… He knew the intimacy and connection addressing You this would be. He was closing in the gap between us. God? I think that is beautiful. Thank You for loving us humans (image bearers) enough to make Yourself a personal God. Not just the Creator of the Universe, but a Father who loves to connect with His children. In Jesus Name Amen.

And. By the way. I did read the pink book! It’s called: Overcoming Father Wounds by Kia Stephens. I enjoyed hearing her perspective on this topic and her honesty about what her struggles looked like. Knowing someone can relate and has taken steps to heal in this area is encouraging. Kia Stephens also writes for Proverbs31 about how God comforts the Father Wounds. She encourages us to exchange our pain for God’s love.

With joy,

MJ