Relational Healing
- MJ
- 30 minutes ago
- 3 min read
It wasn't that long ago I told God I didn't want relational healing. I didn't trust people. I'm glad gently persisted in encouraging me to find a community.

Photo Credit: Unsplash, Brooke Cagle
I now have a community that has a vast appreciation for GIFs, sarcasm, and (most importantly) prays for each other. I can't really pinpoint the exact time when I trusted others again. It was six months - a year - maybe even more, of God working in my heart to get to where I am today.
What I have found about friendship thus far...
Reaching out is important, and letting go of some contacts is too.
When you are tired, go to the game night anyway.
Prayer is underestimated. Share your prayer request and watch God move!
Learning others' perspectives on the Bible is refining and refreshing.
Mentors are invaluable (in other words, find one).
Caffeine, GIFs, and group chats are bonding.
Handshakes are awkward and awesome.
Nicknames are hilarious and are worth brainstorming. Game night is perfect for this.
Nothing like chili bars, burger night, and Cards Christians Like.
Celebrate each other's milestones and birthdays.
I didn't realize how much loneliness absorbs the motivation for connection. Loneliness can be self-defeating, as to help us get through loneliness, we convince ourselves that we don't need people.
We do need people.
There is nothing wrong with being wired by God for connection. I am thankful that God prompted me to find a group, gain some friends, and develop community.
Dr. Weber in her book Flourish, says that"when you laugh, your body releases bio-chemicals known as endorphins which elevate mood and a sense of well being. [...] So have a good laugh about life with a friend, find the humor around you, rent a comedy, and laugh" (134).
I wholeheartedly agree, my group's best moments happen over card games, jokes, and shared inside jokes. *hang on, leaves to send a funny in the group chat :)
Dr. Weber also shares that "Being together increases our happiness, hope, health, and longevity, and lowers stress, fear, anxiety, and depression. It is in the company of God and on another that we are transformed, becoming our very best, most authentic selves, flourishing in God's love flowing to us" (113).
We are the better version of ourselves when we are lifted and encouraged by others. Dr. Townsend agrees, as he says, "Our ability to bond deeply with God and others, and our ability to take biblical responsibility for ourselves, determines much of the quality and meaningfulness of our adult lives" (Hiding From Love, 85).
Sometimes it takes books like Trust by Dr. Henry Cloud and counseling to be open to interacting with others. And that is ok.
We can just take the next step, even if that step is prayer.
Dear Lord, thank You so much for beginning this new work in me. Healing me in ways I didn't want and didn't realize I could receive from You. Please continue this good work in me. I also ask on behalf of others who still struggle with loneliness and connection, that You would provide a place and way to do so. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
with joy,
MJ
Find Your People | Drew Holcomb: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDVl3WHoymI
Disclaimer: Games or products were not gifted for review and are not affiliate links. They were just awesome, so I mentioned them. I do not receive anything in return for mentioning these products.
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