The Joy of the Lord is... (And What it is Not.)

“The joy of the Lord is my strength,” Nehemiah 8:10. This was the scripture that I clung to even while not fully understanding what that meant. I desperately wanted joy but wondered if it was possible through the intense pain.

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I looked at the Pastor on the pulpit as he spoke on the topic of “joy” as my heart broke on the inside. I hated hearing about joy when I had only begun to allow myself to grieve the deep loss in my life. Over time, God began to show me my misconceptions of joy and allowed me to see better what my grieving heart tuned out during the sermon.

I'm going to allow you to see the lies I believed. But I'm going to write the truth I discovered too.

My Misconceptions and Revelations about Joy:

MYTH #1     Joy means you have to smile all the time.

I’m a naturally bubbly personality. I smile at complete strangers (who oft look at me like I’m crazy for doing so, lol). So, smiling comes to me easily. When I was going through my grief cycle though, I used my ability to smile to cover my authenticity in conversations to avoid having to share what I was going through. What I didn’t know is that assuming I had to show up smiling at church wasn’t helping me, it was leaving me hurting as I perpetuated the fact that others didn’t know what I was going through. The enemy was using something as simple as me pretending to be happy to keep me feeling isolated in my pain.

TRUTH: Joy is the strength of God's presence no matter what emotion I am experiencing and He will help me through them all. It is OK if I go through grief and people see my sorrow.

MYTH #2     Joy = Only External Happiness.

Joy can be there when we are happy and when we struggle. I thought joy was being happy with life no matter what. The thing is, you can feel joy at the same time as your external circumstance being difficult. And you can feel the joy of the Lord as you internally have to battle sorrow and anger. I realized that sorrow and the joy of the Lord could coexist.

A hymn that reminds me of this is: It is Well with My Soul. Horatio G. Spafford, the man who wrote it had just lost his job and family but chose to pen this song to God. He did not feel happiness over his circumstance. No, but he felt the sure foundation that God was with him even as he lost everything in his earthly life.

TRUTH: Joy is the strength of God's presence no matter what I'm going through.

MYTH #3    Joy means that I can’t share my sorrow.

Ok, I admit I don’t know where this myth stemmed from and it ties closely with MYTH #2. But I thought that since we were to be joyful as Christians that it meant I wasn’t allowed to share about my sorrows. I took on the southern standard of conversation when someone asks you how you are doing of saying “Good.” And moved on with life.

One day at church my life had changed drastically and in conversation I kept to the script saying “I was doing good.” I wasn’t, I had to repent, cry. And go back and admit I wasn’t doing good and that I really needed prayer.

Dr. Henry Cloud in his book Trust, talks about finding safe people to share with and honestly I think that is key in healing. As Christians we are to be able to pray for one another and lift each other up, rejoicing with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

TRUTH: Joy isn't the absence of sorrow, but rather the presence of God.

MYTH #4    Being Sad wasn’t the “Christian” thing to do.

One of the famous short verses of the Bible is when “Jesus wept”. Jesus often showed emotion in the New Testament, we saw Him angry, sad, and needing alone time with God. Emotions are created by God, it is what we do with them that can be a sin or not. God responds tenderly to sorrow throughout the Bible, describing Himself as Counselor, Prince of Peace, collecting our tears in a bottle, holding our hand, holding us in His right hand, and so on. While I do not want to stay in despair, allowing the emotion of sorrow to be felt and honored is allowed. Jesus can meet me there and help me find hope through it.

TRUTH: Jesus wept and comforts us when we weep too. He provides a body of community so that we can weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.

MYTH #5    Joy wasn’t something I could pursue.

When I needed joy the most, I realized that joy was in the presence of God. Something beautiful in the Bible is God inviting us to seek Him. To pursue peace.

“Seek and you will find,” He invites His people in Jeremiah 29:13.

Getting to know God increases our emotional health, Dr. Weber states, “[…] if you believe in a God of love, it calms your fearful brain, resulting in positive thoughts, decreasing inflammation and stress.” By opening my Bible and discovering the nature of God, peace, joy, reduces stress.

So, seeking God literally brings joy into our life.

TRUTH: Joy comes from God, I can seek God and find joy!

So then, What is Joy?

I’m so thankful that my view on joy is slowly developing. Here's the truth I discovered again.

TRUTHS:

• Joy is the strength of God's presence no matter what emotion I am experiencing and He will help me through them all. It is OK if I go through grief and people see my sorrow.

• Joy is the strength of God's presence no matter what I'm going through.

• Joy isn't the absence of sorrow, but rather the presence of God.

• Jesus wept and comforts us when we weep too. He provides a body of community so that we can weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.

• Joy comes from God, I can seek God and find joy!

Originally, I wanted to categorize joy into two parts. Joy during trials and joy during triumphs. But here’s what I found. While earthly happiness fades, the joy of the LORD remains always. I learned I could ache in the deepest parts of my soul and still have joy. Joy was that even through trials I knew who God was and that He was doing something. Joy was that even in the midst of hurt that God still gave me so many gifts from above.

Joy was that even through trials I knew that God was still with me.

I’ve concluded: Joy is knowing who God is, and as I seek to know who God is I feel reassured and less stressed; joy is hoping for a good future despite my current circumstances internally or externally because He is with me. Joy is knowing my sins are forgiven and I can move forward because of Jesus.

Dear Lord, Thank You for showing me what the Joy of the Lord is. Thank You for being my joy amid my grief. Thank You for being my joy in the middle of my beautiful days too. Thank You for showing me You aren’t disgusted by my sorrow, and like the relatable David who wrote Psalms, Tamar who mourned her pain, Jesus who wept… That You aren’t deterred by hard stories. That You have a victorious ending for us. Thank You, that You have joy for us while on earth and an everlasting one for eternity. In Jesus’ name Amen.

with joy,

MJ