Dear Lord, I'm Stressed Out. (Panic Attacks)

Photo Credit: Alexander Fuller, Unsplash

Dear Lord, You feel the tension in my heart. It is like having two double-shot espresso coffees and anticipating going on stage combined. But right now I don't have coffee and I'm not going on stage. It is me wrestling with who I am. With how much I should do in a day. And if I made “enough” of a difference in the lives of others. Wow. What a mistrusting stance on who You are. Lord I want to trust You to take care of the people in my life. Yes, I can be there for them…but ultimately You are the answer.

Lord? I know I am taking on too much unnecessary stress. So I sit here and try to collect my breath and talk to You. This feels close to a panic attack…

4 Seconds breathing in------ whoooo 8 seconds out. Lol. That’s a lot of air out. 4 seconds in- 8 seconds breathing out. Ahhh… One more time 4 Seconds in. 8 seconds out. Apparently, this helps us reset?

"Holy Spirit You are welcome here. Come fill this place with Your atmosphere. Your glory Lord is what my heart longs for. To be overcome by Your presence Lord…" (Link to my favorite version of this song)

Ok. I think I’m a bit more reset. It’s going to be ok. Put essential oils on that are calming. Call me crazy if you want. It helps.

Wheph… Ok. Now what caused this stress?

Dear Lord, Now that I am feeling better and I am focused on You... What caused this stress? I think it was my expectations for myself to perform. I didn’t feel like I was nailing it. That would be operating in my own strength. Which will fail every time. Honestly, You already said You love me so I don’t have to worry about earning that.

Ok… ooooh and performance for approval. Dang. Ouch. I feel called out. I am hoping for approval by accomplishing certain tasks on my schedule and so my focus is more on how people will respond than You. I’ve put people on Your throne. I’m sorry Lord.

I’m thankful that I am living for God not for man. God loves me with or without perfect performance, God’s grace is abundant, His adoration of me immense.

Ok. Last prayer for this post.

Dear Lord. Thank You. I feel better. Help me to live my life for You, not for man. Help me to take my stress to You always and to ask for Your lighter load. In Jesus Name Amen.

With joy,

MJ

P.S. Hey there! I did literally open my laptop and began to write as I was having a panic attack. So, what you just read just now was how I got myself to reassure my brain that I was safe and that I was going to be ok. I’ve learned that it is easier to love myself as I would someone else through my panic so that I feel safe again. Breathing exercises, prayer, worship, essential oils, and processing through journaling or conversations are techniques that help me to reduce the intensity of future panic attacks over time (note, it does take time, have compassion on yourself through the process.)

P.P.S. Not all panic attacks are the same or for the same reason. Hopefully, my story helps you with your panic attacks or gives you insight into a friend you have who may experience panic attacks.

P.P.P.S. As usual the final disclaimer. I'm not a trained professional or licensed counselor. This was my own experience. If you need help, please find someone who is certified to help.