Beauty from My Ashes

Beauty from Ashes.

I had heard of beauty from ashes before, but little did I know how hard and beautiful this concept is. A fire burns and forges whatever had entered it leaving the dust-- ashes. But after the fire, God promises something instead of ashes. He claims beauty for those who mourn. The victory of a crown and splendid clothes rather than despair. The beauty of being called righteous before God and claimed by God as someone who glorifies His name.

to provide for those who mourn in Zion; to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, festive oil instead of mourning, and splendid clothes instead of despair. And they will be called righteous trees, planted by the Lord to glorify him. Isaiah 61:3

It has been over a year since beginning my messy journey of healing after experiencing abuse. Honestly, I thought for a long time that the impact would hit life so hard that it would not be the same again. And it isn't the same. Except, now I see this in a positive rather than negative light.

Life is very different because of the pain, yes. But in a way that is more of a wabi-sabi/pentimenti situation. Pain has caused an intimacy with God like I have never experienced before. It has caused me to focus on helping others find healing from abusive situations, and it has forged a vulnerable strength that comes from relying on Christ alone. In other words, it has brought out character that I otherwise wouldn't have.

Don't get me wrong. Hope is something I still wrestle with from time to time… because this scripture doesn't exclude mourning. It is the promise for those who have experienced ashes. It is that after the fire God exchanges the ashes for beauty.

Ashes can truly turn into something glorious.

Did you know that you can make a literal diamond from ashes? At least that is what the internet told me. It says that it takes 5-18 months of pressure and carbon. Dang!

In a way, I see all the ashes of my old self everywhere, and then God collecting it up and making into a glorious crown and placing it on my new self. He desires beauty and redemption too. God is where we get the desire for redemption in the first place.

It is not that all of a sudden because of my pain I deserve a crown. It is because of a loving Father and Creator and Christ that comes down from His throne to love a lowly sinner. He who experienced far more pain than I ever will. He embraces me in the pain from the sin of the world and offers a relationship with Him that is good, beautiful, and right.

Like the prodigal son who received a ring on his return home. It’s not about the ring or the crown. It is about the Father who owns the ring and crown and that He placed it on us. He claims His sons and daughters no matter how low we have gone. That is love.

Dear Lord, I give you my ashes. I'm so thankful You are exchanging them for something beautiful, and that You have been doing that in my life already. Lord, I lift up those who are grieving, those who still feel the heat of the fire, and those who feel like they are still in ashes. May they experience You in the midst of the fire, may they know You as You walk through the flame with them. And may they find You exchange those ashes for something beautiful. In Jesus Name Amen.

with joy,

MJ